Obsession
by Night Yagami
Summary: Itachi's always harbored an obsession for the legendary Orochimaru, but he never thought they'd actually meet. Until, that is, he joins the Akatsuki... yaoi, major OOC, departure from canon, angst
1. Obsession

A/N: Written because this pairing needs more love! Orochimaru in general needs more love. So many of the fics about him are non-con... or het, ew.

So if you don't mind angst-ridden/saccharin romance between what should be two hated enemies, this fic is for you~~

* * *

_I remember the first time I saw Orochimaru._

_It was in a book of powerful ninja; outdated, listing the man as an ally of Konoha. The small, blurry picture intrigued me—I knew already that this Sannin had become one of the village's greatest enemies—but even without that knowledge I could tell that the man had goals and was not willing to compromise them, just from looking at his eyes in that tiny picture._

_Years later I found out the details about Orochimaru's betrayal of Konoha, that he had abandoned the village after his terrible experiments had been discovered—dark, twisted experiments, on hundreds of ninja, even children. I feigned revulsion in front of my peers, but when I went home that night I found his picture again and spent Lord knows how long just staring at it. I memorized every detail—moon-pale skin, black hair (longer and fuller than mine), and above all, those yellow, snakelike eyes. They hypnotized me, I think, because that night the thought of that piercing gaze brought me to climax, alone in my bed. It was the first of many times._

_For the following months I researched him, through books of forbidden jutsu, through casual questions asked of people I knew—never the same person twice, and always in the least conspicuous of ways. One memorable day I even found a scroll with much bigger (and clearer) photo of him. My mental image of him grew more and more detailed; my nighttime fantasies more and more explicit. In my mind, he would bind my hands and feet with snakes, strip me bare, and explore my body with his hands and that long tongue before entering me. Depending on my mood, he could be the most tender or most sadistic of lovers. I dreamed of meeting him; longed to see him in person and compare the real person with the sexual god I had created in my mind._

_I never thought I would actually get this chance._

_But I did._

* * *

I knew the Akatsuki would be an assortment of the most powerful missing-nin from every nation. I'd expected such; it was the reason I'd sought to join them after massacring my clan. I tried to tell myself that the main reason was to keep an eye on those who might hurt Sasuke, but that sounded silly in my own head and I did not believe myself. Sasuke was the least of my concerns. My true reason was much more selfish: I did not fear anyone particularly, but the notoriety from my actions was bound to bring at least a few bounty hunters with intents on my life, and I thought it prudent to ally myself with powerful and equally notorious ninja.

I hadn't expected Orochimaru to be among their number; it hadn't even crossed my mind that the legendary snake shinobi, one of the great Sannin, would interact with anyone other than the very gods. Perhaps I was being naïve; I knew deep down that though Orochimaru was a formidable ninja, there was no reason to believe that he would not form alliances with other formidable ninja, the same as me. But the world was large, and of course Orochimaru's movements were unknown to me. And how could I compare myself to him?

My idol and I, united under the banner of the Akatsuki? Preposterous. I never saw it coming.

And I was floored when it did.

I didn't realize it at first, so unexpected was the encounter, but after a nearly violent double-take I recognized the face of my obsession. He was hiding near the back of group at my induction ceremony—well, "hiding" isn't the right word for it. It was akin to a hunter stalking its prey, and as I locked eyes with him for the first time, I understood immediately that I was the prey.

The thought thrilled me.

I took a closer look at him, aware that he was watching me, mirroring my observation. Though his body was hidden beneath the long robe that was the uniform of the Akatsuki, I could see his face plainly enough, and I was struck by how similar he was to that practically ancient picture I had first seen. I supposed he was using some sort of jutsu to alter his appearance, but it didn't look at all unnatural; to me he was immortalized in that moment, similar in every way to the pictures I had come to cherish, and it didn't matter that he might be manipulating his own appearance because this was simply the way he was _supposed to look_—anything else would be strange. At that point, seeing him as a mortal human—aged and changed by the years—might have crushed my desire for him, and things might have turned out very differently. However, he was still the picture of youth and beauty, cementing my idolization. Everything—from the luster of his hair to his smooth unblemished skin to that delicious _smirk_—all of it was the same as in my dreams.

I wanted him—right there, in front of all the assembled members of Akatsuki—I didn't care; I would have thrown myself at his feet and begged for him to take me. But there was playful danger in his eyes, both warning and promising. I held back, withdrawing into myself once again; no one seemed to have noticed our silent exchange, or my lapse in control. I turned my gaze away from Orochimaru to address the other Akatsuki, and when I looked back, he was gone.

No longer enthralled by the attention of the snake-eyed Sannin, I was nevertheless slightly distracted as I was shown to a set of rooms: basic but well-outfitted, consisting of a Western-style bedroom, bath, and kitchenette. I would have preferred something more traditional—I was used to the antique feel of the Uchiha main house—but I settled in quickly enough. I didn't really have possessions to speak of; even clothing was provided for me here.

I was called back out to the main hall for an explanation of the Akatsuki's operating policies—I had known them before joining, and everyone knew that, so at this point it was nothing more than idle chatter anyway. The gist of it was that other than missions, I was essentially free to do as I wished, so long as it didn't endanger the Akatsuki or any of its goals. Much more freedom than I was used to in ANBU—there, nearly every move I made was closely monitored by one party or another. I was looking forward to having time to myself for once.

I told myself that I would be using that time to ensure Sasuke's safety, just as I had told myself that I had left him alive because I cared for him. Both ideas sat oddly in my head; I wasn't actually sure what had stayed my hand—Sasuke didn't deserve to die, he was innocent, but that had never stopped me in the past. All I knew was that, when faced with the prospect of killing the distraught child, some part of me held back—and it had been a calculating, planning part of me, not a part that cared for the boy's well-being. I wasn't sure that part even existed. No, I had simply had a strong sense that I would need Sasuke one day, for Lord knows what, and that this was not his time….

In any case, the Akatsuki didn't care why I had joined; they cared that I was powerful and willing to follow their rules.

Feigning weariness, I excused myself from the shark-man who was apparently my teammate and in charge of my orientation. He didn't seem to mind having his information stream interrupted; in fact he seemed relieved to be able to stop talking. I wasn't ready to form an opinion on him yet, and I had pushed him out of my mind long before I reached the door to my rooms.

Orochimaru was waiting for me.

As I closed the door and sealed it with chakra, a snake as thick around as my wrist slithered out of the shadows and twined up my leg. I froze with one hand still on the door, mostly from excitement and anticipation, but also wary—Orochimaru was, after all, noted for his erratic behavior. Or so I had heard.

"Alone at last, Itachi-kun," he said, though I could not yet see him. The voice issuing from the darkness was so obviously his that though I had never heard it before, it slid right into the category of _Voice – Orochimaru_, easily replacing all of my speculations. The voice was dry and hissing, but somehow seductive, hypnotizing. I savored the sound of my name on lips, letting my eyes close for just a second, allowing my mind to fill with that voice.

I snapped back to reality almost instantly, however. "Show yourself," I commanded in a steely tone, turning to face the empty room. I shivered as the snake slithered ever farther up my leg; it was now passing my knee and beginning to wind its way slowly towards my erogenous zone.

The Sannin chuckled; a thrilling, menacing sound; and stepped into view. The room, lit only by a banked fireplace, seemed unable to contain the force of his presence as his golden eyes bored into me, filling me, devouring me.

"Now now, Itachi-kun, no need to act so cold," he chided teasingly. He moved closer, and I was able to make out green glints in his yellow eyes that I hadn't been able to see in the photos. As he tilted his head slightly I noticed he wore dangling metal earrings. I wondered absentmindedly if he wore them often.

"I noticed you watching me earlier, Itachi-kun," he whispered, closer to me than I could fathom, so close that, had I the courage, I could have reached out and touched him. I loved hearing him say my name over and over again; he seemed to savor it, using it every chance he had, and the way he caressed the syllables left me breathless. "If it's power you're after, I'd be glad to help you…"

Power? I blinked. I had enough power. I didn't need more. Was that what he had seen in my gaze? A lust for his power? And why would he be so facilitating in that case…?

"Perhaps we have misunderstood one another," I stated. The snake that was coiled around my leg was now inches from the apex of my thighs. I wouldn't be able to suppress my reactions for much longer. "I have no desire for power." _I have a desire for you, I lust after you,_ I added silently, praying he would hear me this time.

By the mercy of the gods, he seemed to understand, and he closed the gap between us, pressing his lithe body close to mine. "Oh? Forgive me, Itachi-kun. I have grown so used to people pursuing me for my power that I'd quite forgotten what it felt like to be pursued for…other things. Unless…I've misunderstood again?"

I answered by kissing him forcefully, my hands going to his shoulders like they had always longed to do. He responded with equal force, pulling me close by my hips and slipping his tongue into my welcoming mouth. I didn't even try to fight for dominance; we both knew he had the upper hand, and he took full advantage of my submission.

By the time we broke apart several moments later, we were both panting and half-aroused. He ground our hips together and I moaned softly, knees nearly buckling. The snake around my leg seemed to have abandoned the scene sometime during the kiss, so nothing was in the way of our bodies pressing flush against each other—except, of course, our clothes, which we lost on the way to the bed.

That first time was magical; somehow Orochimaru knew exactly where to stop, exactly how much I could handle, never moving too fast or too slow. He even played out some of my milder fantasies without my asking; using snakes to tie down my wrists and penetrating me with his tongue—that was the first time I climaxed; with his hand pumping me to completion and his tongue filling me to the brim, hitting my prostate with perfect accuracy. The second time, his fingers curled and probed inside me as he allowed me to thrust wantonly into his mouth. He smirked as he swallowed. The third and final time, I needed no assistance from hand or mouth; I came powerfully from the feeling of him inside me, pounding relentlessly against my inner walls. That time, I screamed from the pleasure and he quieted me with another thorough kiss, before hissing and releasing deep within me.

Some time passed as I lay there with him, panting, basking in the afterglow and his presence. I may have lost consciousness; I don't know for how long, but Orochimaru stayed there with me beneath the sheets, instead of leaving. I was happy to realize this, and nearly ecstatic as he pulled me in and nuzzled my cheek, murmuring sweet nothings. I had dreamed about something like this happening—a tender moment after lovemaking—but from the very beginning I had not imagined that a cold killer such as Orochimaru would actually behave in such a loving manner.

Eventually he shifted, sitting up. "Let's go clean off now, Itachi-kun," he purred, and I nodded before trying to follow his lead. My muscles seemed drained of any strength however, and it was only with Orochimaru's help that I was able to follow him to the bathroom.

In the shower, he held me from behind, hands roaming slowly over my body, cleaning and exploring. He traced old scars with his fingers, lovingly, tenderly, and smoothed his palms over the planes of my torso, rubbing soap into my skin, caressing every inch of me. Never had I felt so beautiful, so appreciated; I longed to return the favor and express my fascination with him, but I was too relaxed, too blissful, and I was afraid I'd scare him away with the depth of my passion. There would be a better time, I reassured myself.

As he cleaned my nether regions I reached half-hardness, and he smirked against my neck but did not comment. I leaned back against his smooth chest, and the water pulled a lock of his long silky hair down over my shoulder, and inky rivulet that I lazily gathered and twisted around a finger. He finished washing us and turned off the water.

"I love your body, Itachi-kun," he told me, his mouth moving against my ear. I shivered. "So beautiful and powerful." He pulled me out of the shower, toweled us both dry, and before I knew it I was back beneath the covers and drifting off to sleep, his laughing golden eyes gazing at me possessively.

tbc


	2. Confrontation

A/N: all warnings still apply (especially major OOC & departure from canon)

* * *

The next morning I awoke alone, and would have considered it all a dream save for a very specific soreness, which was easy enough to ignore—I was used to far worse pain.

The rest of the Akatsuki was giving me rather knowing glances all that day and I wanted to ask one of them what had tipped them off. I couldn't, or course; I didn't know any of them well enough to even consider actually taking one aside and discussing my private life in any detail. I did not see Orochimaru that day, except from a distance, and I made sure to show him no special attention—a gesture which he returned. I often felt eyes on me, though; eyes which more often than not belonged to a carefully coiled snake hidden in the shadows.

He came to me again that night. This time he went more slowly, teasing me to the breaking point until I begged him for release. It made fulfillment all the sweeter.

Afterwards, he molded his body to mine and whispered in my ear; painted a picture of a world in which he reigned supreme, where he ended the wars between the countries and there was no need for petty squabbles. I didn't know what to think: at first it seemed like mad raving, and I wondered just how sane he really was, but the more I listened, the more I came to believe he could actually do it. He had solid plans for every step of the way, plausible strategies, and I grew excited, anxious for him to realize his dream. But it sounded like his portrait of the marvelous future was limited by something; that there was a step he needed to take before it could become reality, before he could start. I asked him what it was.

"Itachi-kun, you cannot imagine that I could do very much as I am," he answered, tracing sinuous designs over my chest. "I need power first: unquestionable, overwhelming power, to crush anyone in my path."

He told me he had something in the works, but he wouldn't say what. I could not have guessed what he wanted, not at that point. He had never mentioned his jutsu or my eyes, and I thought that his admiration for my body was purely carnal.

It wasn't for months that I found out otherwise.

* * *

Orochimaru came to my bed every night that neither of us was away on missions. He coiled around my heart, binding it, making it his, and I forgot what life had been like without him. He talked with me, told me of his past and I told him mine. I left out that Sasuke was still alive—ostensibly out of a desire to protect my brother, but truly because my own momentary weakness embarrassed me.

We talked about jutsu, politics, missions, likes and dislikes. I absorbed his every word, sympathizing when we agreed and debating when we didn't.

And every night, he played my body like an instrument, eliciting responses of which I didn't even think myself capable. He made me beg, scream, cry; sometimes he made me bleed. Other nights he was so gentle, so considerate, that my heart would nearly break. But no matter what he did, I always enjoyed it. I loved it.

I loved _him_.

What had begun as obsession had grown to respect, admiration, passion… I was in love with him and I didn't care if he knew it. I wanted him to know it. I told him. He smiled and kissed me, but his eyes were troubled. His kiss was searching and deep, making me dizzy with need. That night our coupling was more wild and powerful than it had ever been, less like the spectacularly choreographed dance I had come to love, but somehow more real. At one point he laid beneath me and took me from below, allowing me more control than I had ever had before. It was sensual, breathtaking, and over far too soon.

* * *

Kisame and I were sent on an intelligence-gathering mission the next day. We were gone for about a fortnight, and on our way back I was impatient to see Orochimaru again. But when we were a day's journey from base, Kisame confronted me.

"You know Orochimaru is using you, right?" he asked, refusing to meet my gaze.

"What do you mean?" I replied coldly.

"Well, he's got that body-possession jutsu… and seeing as your sharingan would allow him to learn all the jutsu he wants… I mean, it's kind of obvious. Everyone is just waiting for him to do it. Sorry, man, I mean it's not your fault you fell in with a guy who wants to learn every jutsu ever…."

I felt my heart constrict as I considered his words. Body-possession jutsu? My sharingan? I'd never heard Orochimaru mention anything of the sort… but if what my partner said was true, of course he wouldn't have said anything… and the Sannin had expressed such a desire to learn all jutsu. I wanted to reject Kisame's words, throw them away like garbage, but Kisame had never lied to or deceived me; I had no reason to believe he would do so now, and I could not shake the gut feeling that he was right. Hadn't Orochimaru claimed to have plans to become more powerful, but had refused to share them with me?

I kept my expression neutral. "Thank you for the warning," I said as blandly as possible.

Kisame looked at me for a few moments; he seemed like he wanted to say something, but he let the matter drop.

We spent the rest of our journey in near-silence. I wasn't achingly impatient to return anymore—on the contrary, I dreaded it, dreaded seeing Orochimaru and having to ask if it were true. Would he lie to me? Could I believe him if he denied everything? I liked to think that I could—I loved him, after all, and trusted him still.

What really frightened me was the thought that I might let him have what Kisame said he wanted.

Did I love him enough to give my life for him?

* * *

We got back all too soon, and I found out that Sasori and Orochimaru had recently left on a mission that could take up to month. I was simultaneously relieved and horribly frustrated; already tense from one day of uncertainty, the prospect of a month in limbo was truly daunting. At the same time, I wanted to postpone our meeting for as long as possible, for when we met, I would have to confront him—I could not ignore this, could not pretend that Kisame had said nothing.

After turning the situation over and over in my mind for Lord knows how long, I took a deep breath and pushed everything to the back of my mind. I would confront Orochimaru when he returned, but there was no need to torture myself in the meantime.

I spent the days as I normally did, discussing the Akatsuki's plans with whomever was at base, training to keep my skills sharp, and going on shorter missions with Kisame.

And though my nights were cold and lonely, it was not long before Sasori and Orochimaru returned, slightly ahead of schedule, catching me off-guard.

Orochimaru came to my room as if no time had passed, sensual and seductive as always. He gathered me into his arms and kissed me languorously; I reciprocated eagerly—how I had missed him, his lithe body and razor intellect. But he must have sensed something was different, for he broke away faster than I anticipated.

"What's troubling you?" he asked, smiling supportively. "My beautiful Itachi-kun." I leaned against his chest, burying my face in his chest and breathing deeply of his scent. It was wonderful to be able to touch him again, and I almost lost the will to know the truth…almost faltered and brushed off his question…almost.

"Kisame said some things…" I started hesitantly. "He told me you have a body-possession jutsu. And he said that you wanted my body for your own."

Orochimaru grew quiet and still and my heart sank before he even opened his mouth to answer.

"Then I suppose you've found me out, my dear," he replied gravely.

"So it's true?" My eyes prickled and blurred as I looked up at his face.

"Yes." There was no hint of his usual smirk in his expression.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked desperately.

He remained silent, merely looking at me with those beautiful golden eyes full of remorse.

"Damn it!" I shouted at him, frustration welling in me. I punched him half-heartedly, putting no real strength behind my fist. "All this time, and you were just looking at my body like clothes on a mannequin? Playing with your food before you killed me and took over? Didn't you care; didn't you even _care_ that I might fall in love with you? Didn't you realize that this was all a dream come true for me? I spent years—"my voice cracked and I choked a little, but I pushed myself to continue— "_years_ of my life thinking I'd never even meet you, and then I did, and you were _perfect_…." I trailed off and strangled a sob, drawing a shuddering breath. "And I wouldn't even care if it had just been for fun for you, even if you didn't care about me…but you damn well made it feel that way! And all you really wanted was my _eyes_? Well too bad, you can't have them; because I love you too damn much to let you kill me!" The tears started flowing in earnest and it was all I could do to keep myself from crying audibly.

While I had raved, I had pulled him closer and closer to me until we were crushed flat together, as tightly as a snake constricting its prey. Everything I had said was true, I realized belatedly—I didn't want to lose any time I had with him; couldn't let him kill me.

Orochimaru stood there quietly as I ranted at him, and simply wrapped his arms around me as I wept.

"Listen to what I have to say. Please," he murmured fervently. I didn't answer and he continued.

"It's true, as soon as I heard that you were joining the Akatsuki I set myself to seduce you and possess your body…how could I not? Those eyes, those lovely eyes…with them, I could change the world! And when I saw you first, I was thrilled…you were so beautiful, you always have been so wonderfully gorgeous, and I was so happy that you accepted my advances…." He shivered and squeezed my waist. "You were so willing and pliant…my aim was to have you dependent on me, and sympathetic to my goals; a willing slave that would freely give up his body for me." My face screwed up and I was about to start yelling again but he hurried to continue. "That was my _original_ goal. Everything changed…when you told me you loved me…I didn't think it was possible for anyone to love someone like me." His face was sad, lonely; emotions I'd never seen on him before but somehow made him even more alluring. I wanted to reach up and touch his face, to reassure him, but my own emotions were a jumbled mess and I stayed as I was. "And when you said it, I realized how happy it made me—how happy _you_ make me—and I thought I might be in love with you too." Now his expression was unreadable, and my heart seemed to be trying to beat its way out of my chest.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked quietly. A moment of silence passed.

"I'm trying to say that I do love you, Itachi-kun. I don't know when it happened, but it did. I've never felt this way about anyone else…and while we were apart I decided these feelings of wanting to hold you and be with you weren't going to go away. And I am afraid, Itachi-kun, afraid because I need your eyes to achieve my goal, but now I feel I need _you_ even more."

I kissed him. I didn't know what else to do; he was just looking so beautiful and saying all these things and I couldn't help myself. This time I fought him for dominance, and even though I lost horribly, I loved it. I loved how he didn't hold back or let me win even though he was supposed to be apologizing. It was just one of the things that made him _him_.

When we broke apart, Orochimaru continued at a whisper. "I don't know what to do…I need the sharingan; with it I would be indestructible… but I don't think I could bring myself to possess you, even if you were willing."

"Sasuke," I breathed.

"What?" asked Orochimaru, gaze snapping to me.

"I didn't kill him…my little brother Sasuke. You can use his body… Really," I added at his dubious expression, "he's alive, I'm dead serious."

"Wouldn't you…wouldn't you _mind_?" he replied, half-laughing. "He's your brother. I don't doubt you when you say he lives, but isn't he…family?"

I smiled softly. "You're saying this to the person who singlehandedly slaughtered nearly his entire clan. I didn't know why I left Sasuke alive at the time, but now I know…I know he was meant for you to use."

Orochimaru's lips curled into a frightening grin. "And they call _me_ evil. That is positively _twisted_, Itachi my love." Warmth blossomed in me and I smiled at him happily.

"There are worse things to be," I answered, and we kissed again.

tbc

* * *

A/N: Holy dialogue, Batman! :P thanks for reading, happy belated birthday to itachi, etc etc. more fluff next chapter.


	3. Heat

A/N: There's a real lemon in this one, sorry if it seems out of place...

Also you can say bye-bye to canon if you haven't already :P

* * *

It wasn't for perhaps another hour, when we were lying in bed together after the night's activities, that I remembered I was supposed to be angry at him.

"Why didn't you just tell me when we met that you wanted my body? Why wait for me to fall for you?" I asked him, trying to sound like I was at least still miffed. (How could I be, after he had confessed his love and apologized so sweetly?)

He threaded his long, graceful fingers through my hair, which was still damp from showering.

"I thought you would attack me if I tried to take what I wanted by force," he explained. "People don't join the Akatsuki because they're bleeding-heart types willing to sacrifice themselves for just anyone. And they certainly don't join if they're weak—I wouldn't risk fighting you, the Uchiha prodigy, if I could avoid it. I'm not stupid."

I frowned slightly. "I suppose…" It was odd to hear him speak of me as if I were more powerful; I couldn't even imagine facing him in battle. If he had tried to take my body when we'd first met, I believe I would have given in, so great had my obsession for him been.

He played with my hair for a little while longer before resting his hand on my cheek, seemingly deep in thought. His fingers were cool, and felt good on my skin.

"Earlier…did I hear you correctly when you said you had wanted to meet me for years?" he asked innocently. His fingers seemed to get colder as my face grew warm. I supposed it was time to tell him…

"Yes, I did…" I started. He watched me silently, waiting for me to continue. I breathed out slowly. "When I was younger, I came across a...a depiction of you, in a book. I thought you were so striking... even more so when I found out you were...when I found out how you had experimented on so many people." I looked at him earnestly. "You sparked my imagination, I suppose. You were my obsession for years...I used to have these dreams where you would do things to me—wonderful things." My voice had dropped to a whisper, and I shifted closer to him, pressing our bodies together.

"Anything I haven't done yet?" asked Orochimaru, thoroughly amused and evidently aroused.

"I can think of a few things," I replied teasingly. He growled and rolled on top of me, pressing an alabaster knee between my legs and biting playfully at my neck.

"Then I am yours to command," he whispered against my ear.

"But we just got clean," I objected weakly.

"We can shower again. We still have to catch up for six weeks apart, my beautiful Itachi-kun," he purred, voice dripping with innuendo and seduction.

"You make a fair point," I gasped out as he nipped a particularly sensitive spot below my ear.

I submitted willingly as he took me for the second time that night.

* * *

When I woke the next morning I was surprised to find that Orochimaru had stayed the night and was still coiled about me, arms wrapped around my torso and legs entangled with mine. He usually left sometime in the night, after I had fallen asleep. My back was to him, but his steady breathing indicated that he was still sleeping.

I was debating with myself whether or not to wake him when he made a small noise and yawned, nuzzling into the back of my neck.

"I ended up staying the night…" he murmured into my hair. "I apologize, Itachi-kun…"

"Don't apologize," I replied, voice cracking from the sleep still lodged within it. "I can't think of a better way to wake up."

He chuckled and tightened his hold on me for a moment before letting go and untangling himself. I rolled onto my back and looked up at him. He was beautiful like this; hair mussed and eyes heavily lidded with lingering sleep, purple markings standing out stark against his paper-white skin.

We dressed in silence, leaving the cumbersome Akatsuki robes folded at the foot of my bed, and I made eggs for breakfast. It was such an incredibly domestic moment when we sat down to eat that I had to pause and think about it with a forkful of omelet halfway to my mouth.

I wanted to live the rest of my life like this.

Between mouthfuls, Orochimaru filled me in on the details of Living Corpse Reincarnation, his body-stealing jutsu. It sounded very complex—though I was no amateur when it came to jutsu development, it was clear that Orochimaru was leagues ahead, in a class of his own.

"What it works down to is that there's a high risk of the body rejecting me after three years," he summarized. "I can utilize its full lifespan only by taking proper steps towards preparing the subject beforehand, which takes almost a year… I have nearly two years left before my current body fails, so there's not too much hurry to get Sasuke ready in time."

"Does that mean you didn't prepare this one?" I asked.

He tilted his head and smiled ruefully. "Yes. About a year ago I ran into a tight spot and was fatally injured. I had to make an emergency switch. There's really nothing special about this host; I don't even know if he was a ninja. A genin at best."

I stared at him. "What about chakra? What about training for taijutsu? You just took some random body and kept going?"

"Indeed, my strength was greatly compromised at first. Sasori was furious at having to take on extra work to compensate for my weakness. But the container doesn't limit my own chakra too much, and I always modify the body to suit my tastes anyway, so I caught up eventually." He put down his fork and adjusted his sleeve. "It's been difficult, and I'm still not at full power. One more reason not to provoke fights with genius Uchiha." He smirked at me.

I was still stunned at his power and adaptability—to be able to start from almost nothing and still achieve a level comparable to the rest of the Akatsuki...in two years, no less...

"Speaking of your genius, I'm very excited about your idea to use a child donor," he continued. "It's fascinating. It would of course extend the body's potential lifespan, and I'd have more control over its development from early stages. The only drawback would be that I'd be weakened before the body came to full maturation." He splayed his pale hands out on the table, regarding his fingers with a pensive look. "It would take too long to rely on Sasori again..."

"I would protect you," I vowed.

He stared at me without answering. The silence dragged on until I spoke again.

"I thought that was obvious," I mumbled, put off by his reaction. "I mean..." I trailed off as his scrutiny became uncomfortable.

"...I apologize, Itachi-kun," he replied after a pause, seeming to choose his words carefully. "After years of solitude, I'm not quite used to hearing something like that."

I let out a quiet huff of laughter. "Well get used to it, because I'm sticking around."

He looked down at his hands thoughtfully.

"I think I'd like that," he told me.

* * *

We left the Akatsuki about a week afterwards. There was nothing more that the organization could do for us; staying any longer would simply hinder us. As a parting precaution, we left my room in disarray, as if there had been a battle, hoping to mislead the Akatsuki into thinking that Orochimaru had taken my body. They would be our enemies from now on, and it was best to have them believe that I had died and Orochimaru was acting alone.

We traveled for days, running at a marathon pace during the day and stopping in various villages for food and lodging. Without the Akatsuki cloak or forehead protectors we were nameless, faceless; just another pair of travelers. I wondered what people thought our relationship was. We weren't similar enough in appearance to pass as close relatives. Did we look like a student and mentor? Friends? Could anyone guess we were lovers?

* * *

One night we stopped at a hot spring. We'd been staying in cheap motels and I asked Orochimaru why he'd suddenly decided on such a lavish inn.

"I want to spoil you a little," he told me, eyes gleaming brilliantly. "You deserve the best."

If I had been the type, I would have blushed.

"You don't need to do that," I replied, my voice much steadier than my emotions.

"But I want to," he chuckled. "Now hurry up and get to the baths. I'll be there in a minute."

* * *

The sun was beginning to set as I walked up to the water's edge, breathing deep of the warm rising steam. No one else was on the men's side, but I could hear the gentle murmur of female voices talking about fashion from beyond the divide. I stepped into the hot water, relishing in the initial burn that dulled to pleasant warmth as I submerged myself to my chin. Eyes sliding closed, I relaxed fully; let the tension of the week roll off me, let the heat unknot my muscles and seep into my bones.

I stayed still like that, listening to evening cicadas and the softly laughing girls. They moved on from fashion and started discussing the ugliness of their peers, which made me smile slightly; it was refreshing to hear such insipid banter. After a little while, I felt ripples indicating that someone else was entering the pool.

Opening my eyes, I caught an instantaneous glimpse of Orochimaru's naked body. The sunset caught on his white skin, gilding him, highlighting his form, turning him into a deity before my eyes. I let out a breath of wonder; my own luck astounded me yet again.

Then the moment ended; he submerged himself, expression blissful as the water rose to his chest. He let out a contented sigh and glanced at me, catching my gaze with those brilliant yellow eyes and smiling softly.

"Enjoying the water, Itachi-kun?" he asked, brushing back a stray lock of his ebony hair.

"Very much," I answered. "The view isn't bad either."

"Oh?" he said, arching an eyebrow. "I can't see very much." He beckoned me closer and I came to sit next to him, letting the water recede from my chin until my upper torso was exposed. The evening air felt cold against my formerly submerged skin, but I was warm enough from the water that I didn't mind.

"That's a little better," he murmured, watching me with hooded eyes.

We sat in comfortable silence. The girls were now whispering fiercely to each other, but their voices carried easily. Startled, I realized there must have been a hole in the fence—they were discussing us.

"The one on the left, with the ponytail, he's cuter."

"Oh totally. Move over, I wanna look again."

"No way, you had your turn!"

"Guys, I want to see..."

"Wait a minute, jeez..."

I looked over at Orochimaru, who also seemed to have heard the girls and was smirking wickedly at me. He leaned in close.

"I'm so lucky to have such an irresistible Itachi-kun," he breathed.

I gave a tiny shake of my head. "They've got it backwards. It's easy to find someone like me, but they'll never see someone like you again."

He chuckled. "You flatter me, my love." Suddenly his eyes lit up with an idea. "Let's give them something to really talk about."

Before I could ask what he meant, his lips were on mine and he was kissing me quite thoroughly. Through the buzz of excitement in my head I heard the girls gasp, but I didn't care; Orochimaru was running those graceful fingers over my skin, hyper-sensitive from the hot water, and I couldn't concentrate on anything else.

He rose, bringing me with him halfway to my feet. The water level came up just below my navel, thankfully concealing me from the spying girls, though I still felt completely exposed and vulnerable. However Orochimaru wasn't finished; he spun me around so my back pressed against his smooth chest and he turned our bodies to face the voices.

"Let them see what they can't have," he said in a sibilant hiss, licking my ear. "You're mine."

I hummed softly at his words and the feeling of his tongue lapping at my skin. "Yes," I answered, "I'm yours." My head fell back onto his shoulder, allowing him more access to attack my neck with his lips and tongue. His hands roamed over my torso, leaving trails of fire in their wake, and it wasn't long before I began to feel dizzy from the sensations and from the heat of the water.

He released me and pulled away at that point; I was disappointed at the loss of his touch but also glad to give my head a chance to stop spinning.

"We'll continue that later," he promised, letting one hand linger on my shoulder before dropping it back to his side. I wanted to get out of the spring—I was feeling lightheaded and I needed to drink something to hydrate—but I could still hear the girls whispering excitedly and I really didn't want to give them _that_ much of a show.

"Shall I make them leave?" Orochimaru asked me, amusement in his eyes. I nodded.

He laughed and summoned a small snake, which he sent swimming away towards the dividing wall. Presently we could hear terrified screams and splashing, and I didn't wait to step out of the pool, heading to the dressing rooms. He joined me a moment later, and we both toweled dry and donned the provided robes.

"That was an adventure," he said as we walked back to our room. "But I think I'll go back in after we eat. I didn't quite warm up enough."

Dinner was grilled fish over rice, simple but delicious. Orochimaru asked if I wanted to join him in the hot spring again, but I declined—hot water always made me sleepy, and I had been close to nodding off throughout our meal. He left, and I sprawled out on the bedroll and drifted off to sleep, thinking of nothing in particular.

* * *

I woke suddenly, startled by something. The lights were out, but moonlight spilled through the wide window onto much of the floor, illuminating the room with surprising brightness.

Orochimaru had returned; I must have woken from the sound of him entering. Rolling over and sitting up, I watched him lock the door and turn around.

"What time is it?" I asked him, stifling a yawn.

"Did I wake you up, Itachi-kun? I apologize," he murmured. "It's late. I'm not sure what time exactly." Somehow he seemed animated, vibrating with energy; he joined me on the futon and I could feel heat rolling off him in waves.

"How long were you _in_ there?" I mused, reaching up to feel his worryingly warm forehead. He leaned into my touch and hummed.

"I'm fine, Itachi-kun. Don't worry about me."

We were inches apart and in the moonlight I could see how dilated his pupils were. The normally thin vertical slits were nearly perfectly round, all but obscuring his golden irises. I'd never seen him look like this before.

"Are you sure you're all right?" I asked, concerned.

"I told you not to worry about it," he reprimanded, and pushed me down, straddling me and trapping my wrists above my head. "I feel excellent. Better than I have in years." He pressed our lower halves together; I was startled to realize how hard he was already. "Hot springs always do this to me...fill me with heat..." At the last word he ground his hips down against mine

"F-fuck, Orochimaru," I gasped as sensations flooded through me. "At least give me a warning..."

He chuckled and released my wrists in order to open the top of my robe and run his fingers over my chest, his fingers burning hot. "Where's the fun in that?" he asked, lightly tweaking my nipples. I arched into his touch, my own arousal beginning to rise. "Besides, I did tell you that I would continue what we started earlier."

I opened my mouth to retort, but he swooped down and silenced me with fiery lips before I could get any words out. Soon I forgot why I wanted to argue with him in the first place; his dominance enthralled me and it wasn't long before I was nearly begging for him to do something more than kiss.

He broke away and smirked as if he had read my thoughts. With quick, lithe movements he parted my robe fully, exposing my erection to the cool night air; he then sat up and stripped off his own robe.

If he had been a gilded idol in the sunset, the moon transformed him into a god of light and shadow—his skin shone iridescent, a shimmering white that calmed rather than dazzled; inky black curtains of his hair flowed over his shoulders; the angular markings over his eyes became pale, glistening silver in the monochrome of night. Gorgeous. I was breathless in the face of his beauty.

His expression was predatory as he moved to position his head between my legs. Stroking my hardness with his heated hand lightly, teasingly, he extended his tongue and I felt it enter my most intimate passage, stretching and lubricating. I allowed myself to moan softly as it filled me, wet and deft and so very hot, and my hips twitched when it brushed against my prostate, slowly and deliberately.

"Faster," I panted, gripping the fabric of the bedding beneath me with shaking hands. "More."

Without hesitating he complied, pressing more of the wet muscle inside me and grasping my arousal more firmly. I felt the familiar burn of being stretched coupled with the heat of his touch, and I moaned louder as the duality of pain and pleasure raced through my veins at the actions of his hand and tongue.

When I could no longer hold back involuntary movements and started bucking in earnest, Orochimaru retracted his tongue and released my erection. "On your hands and knees, love," he whispered, and I scrambled to comply, my body shaking with anticipation as he positioned himself behind me. Gripping one of my hips with bruising strength, he used his other hand to guide his entry, breaching my slippery entrance with practiced movements and hissing as he pushed in to the hilt. My mouth opened in a silent scream; his raised body temperature was incredibly stimulating, setting my nerves on fire and heightening my arousal to incredible levels.

At first he went slowly, carefully, but when I grew impatient at his excruciating pace and moved back against him, his self-control seemed to break. He thrust in hard, and I couldn't hold back my cry of ecstasy at the sensation.

I began to lose myself as he increased his speed, pounding deeper and faster until I couldn't process anything but the sensation of him moving inside me, pressing against my inner walls with such unbearable heat. Stars danced across my vision when he slammed against my prostate with particularly brutal force, and my arms collapsed, unable to support my torso any longer. I moaned wantonly into the bedding and reached back towards my nearly painful erection, but Orochimaru pushed my hand away and flipped me over onto my back.

I would have protested the sudden change in position, but I could _see_ him now; his brow furrowed in intense concentration and sweat glistening on his chest, and I didn't care, I just wanted to watch him above me, dominating me. Our eyes met and he gazed at me with feral possessiveness as he began to utilize the new angle to abuse my prostate with deadly accuracy, hitting it with nearly every thrust. I cried out freely now, the way I knew he liked it, and I was close to coming even before his hand curled around my neglected arousal. But instead of pumping me to completion, he gripped the base tightly, halting my climax, and I nearly screamed in frustration.

"N-no," I moaned, panting harshly. "Need...need to..."

"Not yet," he answered. "A little longer...just a little..." He increased his pace, and the heat from the friction in combination with his torrid body made me gasp and my muscles spasm.

It could have been seconds or an eternity of unbearable pleasure before he finally relaxed his grip, sliding his hand over my flesh, and I came hard, involuntarily clamping my thighs around his white hips. A strangled groan escaped him as he followed me over the edge, filling me with hot seed.

We rode our high as long as we could before we came back to earth, breathing labored, tangled in each other's embrace.

I must have fallen unconscious, because the next I knew, the paleness of morning had just begun to stain the sky through the window. Orochimaru seemed to have cooled down; he no longer radiated heat and was sleeping peacefully, holding me close in his arms. My eyes softened and I freed a hand to stroke his upper arm gently, trying to keep from waking him but wanting to feel the smoothness of his skin.

When I came to again, the sun had fully risen and Orochimaru was dressed.

"Remind me to go with you to hot springs more often," I told him with a yawn, and he laughed.

On our way to check out of the inn, we passed a group of girls who giggled loudly as they ran past us, throwing mirthful glances in our direction.

* * *

We continued onward on our journey, zigzagging and doubling back across the countryside to make our path harder to follow. After a little under two weeks of travel we reached the sea, a vast steely expanse that crashed angrily against the high cliffs on which we stood. The wind tore at our clothes and hair, stinging my eyes until they watered, and black clouds on the horizon warned of a violent and imminent storm.

Orochimaru motioned for me to stand back; raising his arms before him, palms downward, he closed his eyes. Snakes issued forth from his sleeves, landing on the rocky ground with soft thuds and slithering over the cliff. Around ten of the reptiles disappeared this way, but Orochimaru continued to stand motionless with his eyes still firmly shut. He made a stunning image, silhouetted against the darkened sky with his onyx hair tossed relentlessly by the stiff breeze.

After about 30 minutes passed, during which I felt utterly useless, he opened his eyes and relaxed his arms.

"All of my traps were still in place. I've disarmed them, so it should be safe now," he relayed, rubbing at a kink in his neck.

We walked right up to the cliff's edge, where I could see a narrow path winding down the otherwise sheer rock face, and he led the way in our descent. Even using chakra to adhere to the stone, the way was difficult; it was exceedingly slippery and there were many patches of loose gravel and debris. It would be impossible for a non-shinobi, but we were able to traverse it without much incident.

The path ended at a crack in the rock just large enough for a person to squeeze through; I followed Orochimaru through the fissure and into a long, carefully carved corridor with many doorways. It was dry and slightly dusty—apparently the hideout was well-protected from the wind and rain—though it was a bit cold and dark enough that it was hard to see.

"This is home now, Itachi-kun," said Orochimaru, gathering me in his arms and kissing me slowly as the first rumbles of thunder began to echo through the room.

tbc


	4. Sasuke

A/N: heads up: this is a pretty weird, dark chapter imo... my Itachi is kind of fucked up...

* * *

The next six months were both rather uneventful and extremely busy.

Orochimaru was unsatisfied with the state of the technology in his lab, and so I assisted him in revamping some of his old equipment (though my help was rather futile as I had no familiarity with the massive and complex machinery). He rarely actually needed me there but he made up things for me to do out of our mutual desire to be in the same room as much as possible. Sometimes I just watched him work in comfortable silence. Other times my presence seemed to distract him and he made me leave the lab, though he always apologized later with sweet kisses and tender lovemaking.

When I wasn't in his lab, I was filling a rather domestic duty by doing chores, cleaning out the base and making it more habitable for our extended stay. I did the food runs, disguising myself with a transformation jutsu and shopping at a nearby village for food and other essentials (we seemed to go through paper clips at an astounding rate—why paper clips, I don't think I'll ever know). Orochimaru gave me the money; he seemed to have an unlimited supply stashed somewhere. He also turned out to be an excellent cook due to all his years of living alone, for which I was grateful as I'd never really needed to cook for myself in my life and therefore knew only simple dishes. I learned a few recipes under his tutelage but most of the things we ended up doing in the kitchen together had very little to do with cooking food and a lot to do with him bending me over the counter.

Between chores and helping Orochimaru with his rebuilding projects, I still had some free time, which I used to try to teach myself medical ninjutsu. It seemed like a useful skill that I hadn't had the chance to pick up through my years in the academy or ANBU, and Orochimaru had a veritable library on the subject. However, it was the first and only thing that I didn't immediately succeed in mastering and though I spent several weeks' worth of near-useless practice, I was simply not a good healer. Orochimaru told me it was probably a mental block.

"We all have strengths and weaknesses, Itachi-kun," he said, putting down his chopsticks and leaning his chin on his hand. We were talking over dinner, and I'd just told him that I'd never failed at anything before and how frustrated it made me. "Of course some of us are more blessed than others, but no human is perfect."

"_You're_ perfect," I told him, laughing.

He smirked. "I'm not human."

* * *

The six months passed by quickly, and Orochimaru announced one day that he was ready.

"If we wait much longer, Sasuke-kun won't be ready in time," he said, surveying the lab with a critical eye. "I've gotten everything prepared for his arrival."

He fell silent for a minute and looked at me with exhilaration in his expression.

"Let's go pick up your little brother, shall we?"

We left that evening, starting the two-day journey towards the village I'd once called my home.

* * *

Konoha hadn't changed at all in the year since I'd left. The town sprawled under the moonless sky, peaceful and secure in the cool stillness of night.

Entering was easy; as an ex-member of ANBU I knew the village's secrets and was still able to disarm the security systems, allowing us to pass undetected. We jumped from our perch on the huge surrounding wall and landed silently on a tiled rooftop, taking off in the direction of the Uchiha district. I didn't know if Sasuke was still living there or if he'd been moved to different quarters, but I had a hunch.

My mess from a year ago had been thoroughly cleaned; there were no corpses, no bloodstains—no sign that this part of Konoha had witnessed the slaughter of its inhabitants by my hand, other than the eerie stillness that came with deserted places.

Almost deserted, in this case—as I had suspected, Sasuke was right there in his old bed, curled up in a ball under his covers, the way he'd always slept. No one guarded him, no one stayed with him; he was alone in every sense of the word. I supposed I should have pitied my little brother, but I felt nothing as I looked at him.

Orochimaru sent one of his snake summons to inject the boy with venom that would knock him out for a few hours. Wasting no time, I hoisted my brother onto my back, and we left Konoha as fast as possible, trying to get farther away than they would bother to send search parties. The little snake-summon remained coiled about Sasuke's neck, poised to bite him again if he began to wake up.

We traveled on through morning, heading north towards the hideout. The sun rose red, staining the clouds with a magnificent array of pinks and oranges and illuminating the loamy forest floor through gaps in the leaves. We ran silently and masked our presence from the creatures of the forest, and were surrounded by cascading birdsong, sweet and trilling beneath the canopy of ancient trees.

I looked over to see Orochimaru watching me run, eyes alight with excitement and passion. Smiling to myself, I turned back to mind the path before me.

Around midday, I signaled to slow down—we were beyond the range of even the most zealous of search parties, and I could feel myself tiring from running nonstop since we'd left the village. To be honest, we hadn't rested nearly enough since we'd left the hideout nearly three days ago. However, Orochimaru seemed to be impatient to move on.

"I can take Sasuke the rest of the way," he insisted, and I nodded and shrugged the boy off onto the forest floor. Carefully, almost reverently, Orochimaru gathered Sasuke into his arms, looking at his sleeping form with something resembling the tenderness he usually reserved for me. I felt a twinge of jealousy.

Without Sasuke on my back, I felt some of my energy return, so we continued traveling, albeit at a slower pace. I fell into the pace of the journey, maintaining only a basic awareness of my surroundings and trusting Orochimaru to warn me if anything happened.

I wasn't really thinking about anything at all for the rest of the trip; I was surprised when I found myself standing next to Orochimaru in the entrance to the hideout. Suddenly my own exhaustion hit me and I nearly fell to the floor.

Orochimaru, who was still holding tight to Sasuke, grabbed my arm and helped me stay upright. I leaned against him gratefully.

"Get some rest, love...you haven't slept enough in days," he murmured, petting my hair.

"Neither have you," I pointed out, closing my eyes and pressing my forehead to his shoulder.

"I have to take care of Sasuke-kun," he said gently, hugging one arm around my waist.

I could have fallen asleep right there, but Orochimaru took my hand and led me through the base to our bed. Reluctantly I kicked off my shoes and crawled beneath the covers, stretching myself out over the expansive mattress.

"Come to bed soon," I yawned, and I heard him chuckle before sleep finally claimed me.

* * *

I don't know how long I slept. I woke up still tired but unable to fall back to sleep. Orochimaru was nowhere to be seen and I had the sneaking suspicion that he hadn't come to bed at all. Stretching and yawning widely, I showered and changed before going to check the lab.

He wasn't there either, but he'd obviously been busy: Sasuke was suspended in a tank of turquoise liquid and penetrated in various places by countless tubes, like some kind of odd science experiment. I suppose that's what he was at this point, really. It was strange to see my brother hooked up in such a sinister-looking manner, and I felt a horribly selfish sense of relief that it wasn't me. I also wondered how long I had been asleep to have missed what looked like hours of painstaking work.

"I see you're awake." Orochimaru's voice came from behind me, and I whirled around, surprised that he had caught me off-guard. He looked tired, bone-tired; at this point I was fairly sure he hadn't actually slept in almost a week.

"You look horrible," I told him. "Go to bed, now."

"I want to monitor Sasuke-kun..." he said halfheartedly, having to make a visible effort to keep his eyes open.

"I'll keep an eye on him and let you know if anything happens," I promised. He wavered for a moment, torn between his body's demand for sleep and his desire to watch his vessel.

Eventually his exhaustion won out and he nodded.

"The console will beep if anything goes wrong," he told me around a yawn, pointing at a bank of flashing lights next to the tank.

I nodded. "Sleep well, love."

He smiled and dragged himself to bed.

* * *

To my ever-increasing apprehension and disappointment, this became somewhat of a pattern.

Orochimaru would work himself to the breaking point for days at a time, sleeping only when his body absolutely could not go on without rest. I didn't know why he felt the need to do this; no complications ever arose with Sasuke when I had to watch him. Despite my near-constant pleading, Orochimaru simply refused to leave the lab unless it was completely necessary. He didn't even eat unless I brought him food. He was obsessed with Sasuke's well-being, to the point where I couldn't help but feel jealousy twisting deep within me, coiled and poised to lash out if I ever let my guard down. And it made me sick that I was jealous, jealous of a nine-year-old boy in an induced coma who did nothing but float in a tank day after day, and I tried to reason with myself but it was useless. I wanted Orochimaru back, I wanted him to obsess over _me_, I wanted to feel his touch on my skin again and talk to him about everything and nothing.

I think the worst part about it was the uselessness I felt. I couldn't help him with his projects anymore; all I could do was feed him and remind him to bathe and sleep and let him know again and again that I loved him. He always smiled and thanked me for my help, and he never stopped saying that he loved me, too, which left me more frustrated than ever because the words sounded empty to me and it made me miss him more. And it certainly didn't feel like I was helping at all.

Which is why, after about two months of this, I jumped at the chance to assist him with Sasuke's development.

I was practicing with shuriken in one of the training rooms, both to keep my skills sharp and to distract myself from the crushing loneliness that had started to fill my days. So absorbed was I in my self-appointed task that I didn't notice him come in; I don't know how long he was watching me before I caught sight of him leaning against the doorframe.

My breath caught at his expression; it was so full of love and longing that I wanted to cry. How could I doubt him? How could I ever begin to think that he'd lost interest in me?

I missed my last few targets by a considerable amount and he chuckled a little.

"I apologize, Itachi-kun, I didn't mean to distract you," he told me. By the time he had finished speaking I had already wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his shoulder. He stroked my hair gently and I had to squeeze my eyes closed to keep back my tears. It felt so good to hold him again; to be held by him.

We stood like that for a while, basking in each other's embrace, until he placed a soft kiss on my forehead and spoke again.

"I need your help, Itachi-kun," he whispered, smoothing a thumb over my cheek and looking at me with lucid yellow eyes. One would never guess that he hadn't been sleeping properly for over two months.

"Anything," I answered without hesitation. I wanted to be useful to him, so badly that it hurt.

"I know you're a little fed up with my treatment of Sasuke-kun," he admitted. "However, I need your help with him, just this once..."

I knew it was going to be about Sasuke, but it was still disheartening to hear him brought up at this moment, when Orochimaru was finally paying attention to me. I sighed and pulled back a little.

"What do you need me to do?" I asked dully, looking at the floor.

"I'm going to run some tests," he answered quietly. "I need him to be conscious, but I don't want him to get out of hand. He'll be distressed when he wakes up; he might hurt himself if he's not properly controlled..."

"...So you want me to use genjutsu on him while you run the tests," I said, cottoning on.

"Precisely," he replied with a smile. "Will you?"

"Of course," I told him, though I really wanted to rage and scream and cry like a selfish child. "Anything for you."

He pulled me into a deep, thorough kiss, and I was able to forget how terrible I felt as his lips caressed mine. Slowly he guided me to the bedroom; slowly he removed my clothes; slowly he touched my body until I was panting, begging for more. And when he finally pushed inside me, I gasped at the intensity; I had gone untouched for long enough that everything felt like new again.

In the time it took him to reach completion, I climaxed four times; his stamina could be incredible if he set his mind to it, and he seemed to be sparing no effort. Utterly spent, I could do nothing but lie there languidly as he licked the seed off my lower body, cleaning me meticulously with his tongue and telling me over and over how he loved me, how beautiful I was, how lucky he was to have me.

At some point I drifted off to sleep, the low murmur of his voice the sweetest lullaby I could desire.

* * *

When I woke I was sore but very well rested, and very happy to realize that Orochimaru was seated next to me on the bed, reading a large tome on sealing jutsu. He had on a pair of loose pants, which I surreptitiously tried to reach my hand into but was slapped away with affection.

"Most people just say 'good morning,' you incorrigible boy," he told me with a shake of his head.

"I learned from the best," I answered, modestly lowering my eyes.

He laughed and closed his book.

"So, can you help me with Sasuke-kun today?"

I stiffened. I'd somehow been able to put my brother out of my mind, but now the situation came crashing back down on me. Couldn't Orochimaru go more than two sentences of normal conversation without mentioning Sasuke? Suddenly I felt horribly used; Orochimaru had touched me for the first time in months, and it was only because he wanted me to do something for him. It broke my heart a little.

Wrapped up in my own miserable world, I forgot to actually answer his enquiry, and he touched my shoulder lightly.

"Itachi-kun?" he questioned. He must have seen the pain in my expression because his eyes were soft and apologetic.

"Of course I'll help you," I replied, because it was true; I would do it for him, because I loved him and I wanted dearly to be useful to him.

We ate breakfast together, and the whole time he fluttered anxiously about me like I would change my mind or lash out at him, constantly telling me how grateful he was and that he'd make it up to me. It was endearing at first, but it got a little tiring and I finally had to quiet him with a kiss.

"It's all right," I told him. "I _want_ to help you."

When we entered the lab, I immediately noticed that Sasuke wasn't submerged in the tank anymore; instead, he was lying out on a stretcher, though still hooked up to a multitude of tubes. He looked so much smaller without the distortion of the liquid.

Orochimaru and I stood on either side of the stretcher, facing each other over my brother's prone form. Lovingly he brushed a stray bit of hair from Sasuke's face and I dug my nails into my palm with suppressed rage.

"I'll wake him whenever you're ready," Orochimaru told me.

"How long do you need him to be under?" I asked.

"Twenty minutes would be ideal."

That was much, much too long to sustain Tsukuyomi if I were to slow down the perception of time the way I normally did, but I didn't need to torture Sasuke for 72 hours every few seconds. Instead I could speed up time, which would take considerably less stamina as I would be essentially slowing down our brains' processes. Or I could use a less powerful genjutsu, but I wasn't sure how far Sasuke's sharingan had progressed and I feared he'd be able to break anything less. Tsukuyomi it was, then.

"I can give you thirty," I estimated. I'd never used Tsukuyomi in such a way before, and though I was pretty confident I could easily go for 45 minutes, I didn't want to risk it. I activated my mangekyou.

Orochimaru seemed to forget what he was doing as he stared at my eyes. Thinking back, I couldn't remember if I'd ever used the mangekyou in front of him before.

"You have to do that in the bedroom sometime," he said wistfully, before reluctantly breaking eye-contact; he performed a set of hand-seals and laid his fingers on Sasuke's forehead.

Slowly my brother's eyes fluttered open.

"Tsukuyomi," I muttered as his groggy, uncomprehending gaze met mine.

* * *

_We were in my world now, however briefly. _

_Sasuke stood before me in a vast black field, the red sky hanging low above our heads as shadowy clouds raced across the sky. No longer dazed, he glared at me with eyes full of hatred._

_"Itachi!" he shouted, and his voice echoed infinitely in the space between us. "You bastard! Come to make a clean sweep of it?"_

_"Hardly," I answered coldly. Seeing him awake made all the jealous feelings I'd had in the past two months come flooding back to me, twisting my thoughts and emotions. "You are essential to Orochimaru's plans. Though I'd desperately love to, I will not harm you."_

_He looked lost for a second. "Orochimaru?"_

_I snorted. "Idiot brother..." Writhing white snakes broke free from the black soil and twisted together, solidifying into an image of my lover standing by my side. "Orochimaru, the man who owns your body, my heart... and someday the world..." I kissed the illusion deeply, letting it tangle its ghostly fingers in my hair and clothes, claiming it before my brother, whose eyes were wide in shock._

_It was sickening, but I was fuelled by my jealous rage and I couldn't stop; I made Orochimaru's shade remove our clothes and press its naked body to mine. Sasuke retched, but it was my world and he could not turn away, which made me laugh hysterically._

_"Look, my foolish little brother, look at what will never be yours! He is mine and mine alone!" I cried, laughing ever louder as Orochimaru's image laid me on the ground and entered me, thrusting hard and deep._

_"WHY ARE YOU SHOWING THIS TO ME?" Sasuke screamed, sobbing and trying to claw out his eyes._

_"BECAUSE HE IS MINE!" I roared, and the whole world turned to white as I climaxed._

* * *

I blinked once and the illusion faded. Sasuke was unconscious again; his eyes had rolled back into his head and his mouth was open in a silent scream.

Closing my eyes against the sudden wash of fatigue, I touched my cheeks, which were wet with blood as expected.

"Are you quite all right?" Orochimaru questioned, and I felt his cool hand on my shoulder. "You started crying blood seven minutes into it."

"It's normal," I told him, eyes still closed. "Just don't ask me to do it again anytime soon."

"Of course" he replied, giving my shoulder a squeeze.

"Did you get what you needed?" I asked him, letting his touch relax me.

"Everything and more, Itachi-kun, you were an enormous help. Thank you."

I smiled. "Guide me to bed, would you? I don't want to open my eyes for a while."

Instead of leading me as I had asked, he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom bridal style, which made me laugh a little. He really could be incredibly sweet at times. Nuzzling me softly, he laid me out on the bed and took off my shoes for me, kissing the soles of my bared feet.

He didn't ask what I had shown Sasuke, and I didn't offer to tell him.

tbc

A/N: well ok that was dark... *laughs nervously*


	5. Poison

_I ran through the hallways of our hideout, breath echoing harshly in my ears and feet hitting the stone floor hard enough to send jolts throughout my whole body. It was essential that I hurry; something terrible was happening. I could feel it in my bones._

_Throwing open the door to the lab, I cast my eyes around wildly and let out a choked cry when my gaze landed on the scene before me. Orochimaru was there, leaning over Sasuke's unconscious body and kissing it deeply, sliding his hand down the boy's naked form. At the sound of my entry he drew back, smirking at my horrified expression._

"_I love him more than I ever loved you," he told me, cruel mirth glimmering in his gaze. "He is my future. I have no more need for you."_

_I shook my head furiously. "No! I don't believe you!"_

"_I haven't given you as much as a glance in the past two months. How long will it take for you to realize I don't care for you anymore?" he laughed, stroking Sasuke's chest with his slender white fingers._

"_That's a lie!" I sobbed, sinking to my knees. "You were being wonderful again... we made love again!"_

_He regarded me coldly. "That wasn't making love. That was payment. Compensation for services rendered. Now you've served your purpose; I have no further use for you."_

"_No..." I whispered, but I knew it was the truth. He didn't need me anymore. I slumped to the floor, devastated..._

* * *

I woke in a cold sweat, clawing at the sheets and gasping for air. Everything was dark and I scrambled to turn on the bedside lamp, wincing as the electric light hit my oversensitive eyes and abruptly brought me back to reality.

It had been a dream. Just a dream.

Heaving deep, shuddering breaths, I sat there for a moment, trying to collect myself. Though my eyes still hurt from using Tsukuyomi, it wasn't so painful that I couldn't keep them open, and I stared at my trembling hands with a vague sense of detachment.

Apparently taking out my frustration on my brother hadn't solved much, as a wild tempest of emotion was still raging within me. But instead of the despair I had felt in the dream, my internal storm was predominantly anger—anger at being ignored for two months, only to be used when Orochimaru needed help with his precious _Sasuke_. I clenched my shaking hands into fists and got out of bed.

I needed to see him again, to have him look me in the eye and validate my existence, and for him to choose me over my brother.

My clothes were stained from the blood I'd cried earlier, and when I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror I saw two tracks of dark red crusted to my cheeks. As a shinobi I was no stranger to cleaning up old blood and soon my face was clean and my clothes soaking in a cold enzyme solution.

I dressed in a loose yukata—though it had been unusually cold outside recently, Orochimaru preferred to keep the hideout very well heated, to the point where it was nearly uncomfortable to wear anything more than basic clothing. I assumed it was for the comfort of his snake summons.

Unable to shake the memory of my dream, I opened the door to his lab cautiously, afraid of what I would find. Thankfully Sasuke was back in his tank, floating as listlessly as ever, and Orochimaru was seated at one of the counters, scribbling away at a stack of notes. He didn't look up when I entered, though he addressed me.

"How are you feeling, Itachi-kun?" he asked absentmindedly, shuffling the paper a little.

"Fine," I answered quietly, coming to stand behind him.

"That's good..." he responded, obviously only half-listening. He put down his pen and started to reread what he had written.

Wanting his full attention and utterly fed up with his distractedness, I hoisted myself up to sit on the counter, scattering his notes a little and letting my kimono fall completely open.

"Do you have time for a break?" I asked him lowly, breathily.

Though he had seemed irritated at first at having his paperwork obscured, he was now gazing at my body hungrily. "I think it could be arranged," he said, standing up and leaning in to capture my lips.

His tongue demanded entrance and I welcomed it eagerly, moaning softly into his mouth and letting him pull me off the counter into his arms. I leaned against his strong frame and sighed contentedly as he started kissing along my jawline.

"Thank you so much for helping with Sasuke-kun," he whispered into my ear, sliding his fingers into the gap in my kimono.

That wasn't what I wanted to hear. I didn't want it to be about Sasuke anymore. Couldn't he forget about the damn kid for one minute? Suddenly I couldn't stand to be close to him. I stepped away abruptly.

"I forgot that I have something I have to do," I told him coldly, belting my yukata firmly before turning from his nonplussed expression and walking out of the lab.

Of course I didn't have anything to do, but I couldn't listen to him mention Sasuke one more time. I didn't want him to be thinking about my brother in any way as he undressed _me_, touched _me_, bedded _me_.

I figured now was as good a time as any to make a food run, though we were pretty well-stocked on supplies. I just needed to get out of the claustrophobic rooms and hallways; needed to breathe some fresh air.

It wasn't until I'd started to dress for the cold weather that I realized I was crying.

* * *

Outside it was snowing; had evidently been snowing for hours as great drifts of the fluffy white crystals were heaped on the ground. I stared in wonder at the frozen landscape; I had only seen snow once before on a brief mission to the Land of Iron, as it never snowed in the perpetually warm and sunny weather of the Land of Fire. I felt my spirits lift a little to see the beauty of the soft cold blanket spread over the earth. It was lovely; the contrast of whiteness of the snow and the black damp bark of the trees. Just like Orochimaru's alabaster skin and ebony hair...

My sudden good mood ended as quickly as it had begun and I scowled; thinking about Orochimaru was making me angry and depressed. I scooped up a handful of snow and threw it hard at an unsuspecting tree, which made bits of the white powder explode out in every direction and left a good-sized glob of it stuck to the bark. It was very satisfying and I let out a breath that I didn't know I'd been holding.

I'd been taught how to hide my footprints in the snow, but I was out of practice and it took me a couple seconds to remember the correct chakra balance. Soon I'd got it down, though, and I was off at top speed through the silent forest, away from the cliffside and the cold gray ocean.

I always took looping, convoluted paths to and from the nearest village (I say nearest, but it was still a good hour's run as the crow flies) in order to throw off anyone who could be tailing me. It was never the same route twice. Maybe I was being paranoid, but both Konoha and Akatsuki were our enemies and I didn't want to risk it, even if there was no evidence that either party was actually actively hunting us.

I got to the village and bought some root vegetables, disguised, as usual, as an elderly man. I had to turn off my sharingan while I was among the villagers, lest they notice the unusual color and pattern and report it to the country's officials. It made me feel vulnerable and blind, to be near strangers and not be using any enhanced vision.

When I left the small settlement with a bag of potatoes and carrots on my back, I immediately reactivated the sharingan and started to scan the vicinity.

It made little difference, as a blow from behind caught me off guard and the world faded to black before I even glimpsed my attacker.

* * *

Slowly I regained consciousness. Great throbbing waves of pain rolled through my head and I winced. When I tried to press a hand to my forehead I realized my arms were bound behind my back. My eyes snapped open to register only darkness. Slight pressure over my eyes indicated I was blindfolded.

This wasn't a particularly opportune situation.

I lay in wait, giving no further sign that I had woken, but my efforts were in vain.

"He's awake," said a quiet, unfamiliar voice.

"Good," grunted another voice. This one I recognized easily.

"Sasori?" I rasped. Something sliced across my cheek, leaving behind a burning trail. A poisoned kunai, I guessed.

"Where is Orochimaru?" Sasori demanded. It was his Hiruko voice, deep and intimidating. "Tell me and I'll give you the antidote."

"I don't know," I lied. My anger at Orochimaru wasn't nearly enough to want to betray him. "I thought he was dead."

"He's lying," said the quiet voice that I didn't recognize. It was male and probably only slightly older than me, but that was all I could discern.

"That's easy enough to tell," Sasori replied in a bored tone. "He reeks of Orochimaru." Did puppets have a sense of smell? Evidently yes.

I could feel the poison beginning to work its way through my veins and I gritted my teeth against the excruciating sensation. It felt like I was rotting from the inside out; like the substance was eating away at my flesh and leaving nothing but blackened refuse. I imagined what my skin would look like as my bloodstream decayed.

"That poison will kill you within the hour if you don't get the antidote," Sasori told me.

It was my turn to call his bluff. He couldn't kill me; it would erase his only lead. "Then I suppose I'll make peace with myself before I die," I said calmly.

He scoffed. "Have it your way. I won't kill you, but I can make you wish you were dead." I heard the clattering of his wooden body as well as soft footsteps, and a door closed, leaving me in silence.

The pain was beginning to make my thoughts hazy, but I did my best to work my way through the situation. I was being held captive by Sasori, who I knew to be cruel, ruthless, and experienced in torture. I didn't know if he was working in accordance to Akatsuki's wishes or under his own agency, or even what he wanted with Orochimaru, but it couldn't be good. Holding up to his interrogation would be difficult but not impossible; I had been trained quite thoroughly in resisting torture and I was fairly confident that I could handle anything that was thrown at me. I had no choice; Orochimaru was preoccupied with Sasuke's body and would be at a disadvantage if Sasori were to find him. And I had no guarantee that the puppet master would leave me alive if I gave him what he wanted.

A wave of pain coursed through me and I convulsed involuntarily. The poison's effects had escalated, turning from rot in my blood to maggots that were slowly chewing on my bones. I tried to block out the sensation by thinking of ways to escape, but it was little use: I discovered that my chakra had been suppressed so that even if my bonds or blindfold were removed I would be unable to perform jutsu. Even if I could free myself, I'd be an easy target (and getting free seemed an impossible task, as my bonds held fast even as I writhed and twisted against them until I was panting from exertion).

Orochimaru would come for me, I told myself. But the reassurance rang hollow and false; there was no way he'd leave the hideout, no way he'd leave Sasuke. He would probably assume I'd left for good in my anger; after all, he hadn't even tried to come after me when I'd walked away from him.

I wasn't given to despairing, but as the pain from the poison reached a crescendo I couldn't help but feel hopelessness creep over me.

* * *

I may have blacked out, because next thing I knew I was being kicked by a sharp foot in my unguarded stomach. Gasping for air, I curled into a ball in an automatic attempt to protect myself, but the foot simply aimed for my head instead. Poison still gnawed at my veins, far worse from before; I could barely feel the pain from the repeated blows through the absolute agony of the toxin.

"That's enough, Kabuto," I heard Sasori grunt.

"Yes, Sasori-sama," said the quiet voice from before, as the kicking stopped.

Wooden fingers wove through my hair, gripping it roughly and pulling me up so that only my bound legs rested on the floor. The movement aggravated the poison in my body and the resulting pain made me retch, vomiting what little was in my stomach.

Sasori waited for me to finish dry heaving before speaking. "You will tell me where Orochimaru is."

I would have laughed at him, but an intake of breath left me coughing as I choked on blood and vomit. The coughs wracked my body until I could do nothing but hang loosely in Sasori's grasp, biting back moans of pain.

"Tell me," he repeated.

"No," I said weakly.

He was silent for a moment. Then: "Kabuto. Leave us."

Soft footsteps, and a door opening and closing.

Puppet fingers wrapped around my arm, and a needle plunged under my skin. Cool relief washed through me as the antidote took effect. I was released and laid on the stone floor. Rustling and clacking sounds echoed about the room.

"You don't have to struggle like this," Sasori said in a different voice, soft and lilting. Had he shed Hiruko? "What does he even mean to you?" Hard, inhuman fingertips traced across my cheek.

"Everything," I told him. "I won't betray him."

"Foolish child," Sasori chided. "You think I want to hurt him? All I want is to see him again. I didn't get to say goodbye to my treasured partner."

I did laugh that time. "And for that reason you abandoned the Akatsuki and chased him about the countryside? Very convincing."

He heaved a sigh (a theatricality; he didn't need to breathe) and stroked my hair. "Itachi... you should understand. Logic doesn't apply when Orochimaru is concerned."

I did understand. I had never felt even a stirring of emotion for anyone else in my life, including my own family. No one but Orochimaru. I'd loved him before I'd even met him.

Sasori continued. "I need his strength by my side. For me, the Akatsuki is nothing compared to him. Nothing. When I found out he'd left, I was furious. You must understand, we had been partners for years, before you came along, and now I am lost without him." Sasori's wooden hand clenched in my hair painfully. "You ruined everything. I don't understand how he got so besotted with a transient brat like you. You can't be what he needs." The puppet master's voice was as soft and gentle as ever, but I could almost feel the anger radiating off him. "You're just a passing fancy; a brief carnal plaything."

I stayed silent; his words had hit my own insecurities and I didn't trust myself to say anything.

He released my hair and I heard more rustling and clacking, and the door opening.

"He won't come for you," Sasori said confidently in the deep growling voice of Hiruko. "Even you couldn't change him that much." The door clicked shut behind him.

* * *

I lost track of time. Days could be passing; weeks, or mere minutes; I could not know. My waking moments were filled with agony as my body was broken, healed, and then broken again in a spiraling cycle of pain.

I was injected with various toxins, which had a wide range of effects; some made me sweat and vomit, others filled my body with fiery pain, and a select few had nearly genjutsu-like effects on my mind, making me see and feel horrors as if they were real. But unlike genjutsu, my sharingan was useless against the visions, and I had no way of guarding against them.

One particularly nasty poison made me lose all sense of my surroundings. I felt nothing, heard nothing, for Lord knows how long, though I must have been screaming because when the poison's effects wore off my throat was raw and bloody.

The food I was given was foul and tasted of chemicals, and though I tried to refuse it, it was forced down my throat.

I succeeded in biting off my own tongue a few times, but Sasori's servant Kabuto was a fast and attentive healer and always seemed to know when I was attempting suicide. My efforts brought me no closer to death.

I hated Kabuto: he healed me, and the pain from the healing was often worse than that of the original wound. He was never kind enough to let me die. And he was a key part of my torture: he used his medical knowledge to inflict as much pain as possible; slowly prying off my fingernails, slicing open my abdomen and tying knots in my organs until they burst, lacing sharp spikes of chakra up my spinal cord so I twisted and screamed from the overload to my nervous system.

I was always healed completely after every torture session, but this was only so more pain could be inflicted the next time.

No matter what was done to me, and no matter that I could see no end to the vicious cycle, I did not betray Orochimaru.

But I was slipping. Sasori's words were a more potent poison than anything he injected into my body, more wounding than any knife. He would come to me and whisper that Orochimaru did not need me, that I did not deserve him. Whenever he talked to me like this I had to fight back tears; it was as if he had seen into my heart and was reaffirming what I already thought to be true.

"Wouldn't it be easier," Sasori asked kindly, "to forget about him? Just give him up. Give him back to me."

I would have. I almost did. But I couldn't; he meant too much to me. He was my world, even if I wasn't his. And so Sasori would leave in disgust.

* * *

During one particularly brutal session involving both Sasori and Kabuto, I was pinned to the ground by poisoned metal spikes in my abdomen and shoulders. The poison made me jerk and twitch, which widened the piercings, and though Kabuto kept any of the wounds from actually killing me, I bled profusely.

After the poison's effects had worn off, Sasori lost interest and left the room. I lay motionless in the pool of my own blood as Kabuto removed the spikes and healed my body. It was a slow process, and very painful; I think some of my bones had been crushed by the blunt metal, and their reconstruction was excruciating.

The door slammed open and I cringed involuntarily; I wasn't prepared for Sasori to return so soon, before I was even fully healed.

But instead of the sound of the puppet master's clacking wooden body, I heard a dry, rasping voice; a voice laced with anger and fierce possessiveness; a voice I would recognize even if I went a thousand years without hearing it.

"What have you done to him?" hissed Orochimaru.

Warmth flooded my heart. He had come for me.

* * *

tbc

* * *

A/N: it's so hard to torture itachi, haha. thanks to all reviewers!


End file.
